i think my tv is drunk
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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