Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
