I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
