Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Sorry about my life...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
