I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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