Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
