my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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