come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
you never un-have a 4some
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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