Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
