At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
