I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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