Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
