Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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