I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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