I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
