This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
bring money and cleavage
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
