Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you would pick up someone in the library
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
