Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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