sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
