dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
