ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize