i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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