your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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