My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
PANTIES FOUND
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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