What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
