i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
