shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize