I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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