How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
