Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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