I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
