We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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