i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
