i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
