Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
