the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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