i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
