if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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