By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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