also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
