hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
