shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
