Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
