I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
