I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
