so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
