Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
