I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I need a beard to bite.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
