Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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