love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
