Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
