allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
