come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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