I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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