I wanna bring you to show and tell
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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