its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize