She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
