i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
