dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
